How To Break Your Addiction to a Person
By Christine Joanna Hart | May 11, 2019
I first met Steve in Brighton. He had dark hair, honeyed eyes and looked like Bruce Willis. We had a Honeymoon by the sea. Late mornings in bed as seagulls rasped overhead.
Extensive windy walks on the beach and cuddly suppers by the fire in my seafront apartment. I began to have an addiction to the man; normal of course – we all fall in love.
Making love was never so first-class, it became an addiction immediately.
I floated around Brighton, smelling the sea air and feeling as if I was on some incredible happy pill or drug.
He was beautiful and loving and we were mad for each other. That summer we made love in the beach in the sand and I felt like Deborah Kerr in From Here To Eternity. I was totally addicted to Steve – who just happened to be a late stage alcoholic.
It was only months in when I found out. Steve was also very angry and a misogynist.
We would argue, he would drink and he would terrify me when he was drunk.
Then there was the first time he hit me. His fist came up to my month in a sharp uppercut and my lip split and blood spattered down onto the floor of our holiday hotel room in Cornwall.
I laid beside him, a towel stopping the bleeding as he punched me in the kidneys now and again, until he tired of his sport and slept.
I stared at the man who I was addicted to. I was sick – I had to face it.
I researched and read about how, if you have not had your inner child fed at every stage, inside you the attachment hunger will make you unable to leave the person you have bonded with – think of a screaming baby torn from the arms of Mother. (That’s you.)
The breathlessness you feel when you think of not seeing them again – the disorientation, the utter terror is inside you and is known as
But this time its to a Person that your inner child thinks is ‘Mommy’.
I also studied limerent and non-limerent bonding – meaning some bonds we cannot break – there isn’t even any sex taking place. What is at work is the baby inside you – clamouring for Mummy and you and Mummy in your nugget of love that you didn’t get enough of as a child.
Its a great feeling but what if the person you’ve attached to isn’t good for you – how does a little baby break off from Mummy?
If you cannot let go of people – then the needy baby inside you is attaching itself, like a limpet, to anyone who comes close to you.
Yet you can heal this inner baby who is controlling your life in the present.
It can be filled by babying yourself. Yes – you can cure this.
Go to a toyshop – buy you a present you’d buy a child – one you loved very very dearly and then present it to yourself. Puppies are great!
Sometimes the really soft stuffies for new-born ones work well. Pick one you like the look of and buy it. Then cuddle it.
Crying will heal this old wound of hunger that is playing havoc in your life in the present addiction to a man you should have long dumped.
Buy a quart of full fat creamy milk then go gently heat it up, add a bit of honey – and suckle it whilst hugged up in a warm bed with a hot blanket on.
Recreate the love you should have had back then and heal the part of you that is a strung out junkie and just needs re-parenting.
After enough babying of yourself the HOLE inside you will heal.
I can perform Healing and prescribe bespoke flower and crystal essences to help ease the way in this painful journey.